The Mathematics of Goatism

Doug Nuttall, P. Eng.

I have approached the issue of Goathood from a mathematical bent. I can, I think, expand on some of the logical arguments that have been made to date:

everything is a goat
Let a be everything, let b be a goat
a=b
multiply by -2b -2ab=-2b^2
add a^2+b^2 a^2-2ab+b^2=a^2-b^2
factor (a-b)(a-b)=(a-b)(a+b)
cancel by division (a-b)=(a+b)
replace values (a-a)=(b+b)
simplify 0=2b

so, nothing is two goats.

Therefore, if everything is a goat, then nothing is two goats. Said another way, if everything is one goat, then 2 goats can not exist - their existance nulifies everything/existance. This is not surprising, since the first
statement clearly indicates that one goat is the entirety of existance - how can there be a second? Since we can and do see more than one goat at a given time, we are witnessing a miracle, where one goat exists in different
places at the same time. This is actually suggested by the first statement, that everything is a goat. So when you see what you think are different things, they are really just manifestations of the same goat. We are
witnessing the same goat, existing from the begining of time to the end of time, and returning to the begining again, manifesting itself in different forms with each subsequent journey. Time, form, space, these things are
meaningless when talking about Goat. A goat is everything.

This is a purely mathematical arguement, but it makes the point succinctly.